Is anyone reading this anyway?

I struggled this week with what to write about. I know this can be an issue even for the most prolific of writers, who are advised to write anything as it will flow again eventually. The other 3 blogs I’ve written so far have flowed quite naturally, so I’m not too sure what incited this week’s impasse. I may well have been overthinking it, or possibly concerned with oversharing or that I’d be drawing too much attention to my personal weaknesses. What I have spent the last week doing (apart from melting in the heat) is think about the purpose and value of blogs and where I fit in.

I decided to write my first blog after a critical incident at work but when I sat down to write it, I ended up writing about something else, something that interested me and which I wanted to research a little more and record my thoughts on (4th Industrial revolution). It wasn’t until the following week that I was able to record the critical incident and put together a blog on reflective practice (Run for the hills or reflect?). Initially then, I was providing a social commentary on areas of interest and as part of my reflective practice. It was quite by chance that my first post coincided with my journey into Social Leadership. I had literally written and posted my first blog and then came to the ‘Action Day’ on #myfirst100days (Stodd, 2017) which was a day to act and curate one’s own story in a new and/or different format. I was quite pleased with myself as I had reached the conclusion that blogging would be of benefit to me. Oh, and I don’t believe in coincidences!

Through exploring leadership in the Social Age, I became aware of the wider benefits of blogging; and how the tool can be used to create a professional narrative. Voila, my third blog was born: Jackanory, tell us a story!. Blogs can help define your story and contribute to developing a social profile. There are other tools that can be used to for this purpose, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and so on. So, why did I choose to blog and, is anyone reading this anyway?

One of the stories that I grew up with was that I was the fat, funny one whilst my sister was the studious, brainy one. My parents were surprised when I passed my GCSEs, to the point that they had suggested I could always travel Pakistan if I didn’t do well or go to hairdressing college (there’s absolutely nothing wrong with hairdressing college btw, I have friends who are incredibly talented and run their own salons, this was more about how different my parent’s aspirations and expectations were for me in comparison to my sister). Combine this with an emotionally abusive relationship in my late teens to mid-30s, and it’s quite the recipe for a negative internal dialogue about how I lack intellectually. Lacking despite gaining a degree in Social Sciences, a Post Graduate Certificate in Education and Training and Masters in Online and Distant Education (MAODE). It wasn’t until I graduated from the OU with my MAODE that I realised that narrative no longer served me and let it go.

This was 8 years ago and now, finally, I feel I am ready to go on and apply for a Doctorate in Education (EdD). I’ve wanted to do one for a while but worry about how much time it will take, if I’m able to commit and I’ve struggled with defining a question I want to research. Writing this blog is about helping me to rewrite and re-create my story. It’s about demonstrating to myself that I am disciplined enough to write 600 to 800 words a week and that I can spend time thinking about what and how to write, when and how I’m going to fit it in to my commitments each week and to explore the impact it may or may not have on me and those around me. It’s also a vehicle to start researching and writing about some of the ideas I have for an EdD to help me to formulate a question.

So, even if nobody is reading this, it doesn’t matter because this is part of my journey –to becoming a Doctor, Social Leader and overall better person.

(Although it would be nice if someone is reading it..are you?)