Flamingos

I got back from the OU’s Black and Minority Ethnic (BME) Network event, ‘Discussing race and culture in the workplace’ late Wednesday evening and I’m buzzing from it still now. As I’ve not written a blog for a while, I thought I’d sit down and capture some of my thoughts around the event and share my epiphany. I’ve not written because I’ve been; juggling working full-time, a family, the start of the school holidays and the bog standard day-to-day, something had to give and unfortunately it was blogging. Having also suffered a bit of a disappointment (I wasn’t shortlisted for a promotion). earlier in the month it would have been a negative blog anyway. I’ve let that go now and have moved on and this event has helped with this, massively.

The BME network sent an email about some focus groups they were running to inform a programme of career development training they are planning for BME staff in the University. I responded to the email suggesting the focus groups should also be online to include staff that aren’t based in Milton Keynes (MK) (there are 3 Nation offices, Ireland, Scotland and Wales and several us are also homeworkers. Subsequently, I was asked if I’d run it. I didn’t realise the focus groups were being sponsored by the university’s Talent & Development (T&D) unit nor did I make the connection between the person I was emailing who is on the BME steering group and that she also works in T&D. This is the first piece of direct engagement I’ve had with the network. I have always been a member, but they have become more active in the space. Interestingly this has tied in with my awareness of my own career trajectory as I have had limited progression at the University. This isn’t a moan, I love working at the OU, it fits in with my values and beliefs and I wholeheartedly support it and our students – I have had some great opportunities which I am thankful for such as being offered a role which meant I could keep working at the OU despite the region closing; a secondment; agile working - which means being around when the girls go to school and come home (most of the time) - but, I just can’t seem to secure a senior manager role. There are many reasons for this, I’m not based in MK and there is an incredibly MK-centric view in the University and one of presentee-ism despite having proven how well I can work at a distance with colleagues and students. I am challenging this, one job application at a time.

Anyway, back to the network event. A few months after the focus groups, the BME network asked me to present some of the quotes from the focus groups to highlight the ‘staff voice’ and provide some closing remarks. Despite it being in the summer holidays and feeling a bit of fraud as I’m no expert in this area (apart from being BAME of course), nor am I especially ‘active’ in the network, I said yes. They also asked me to be on the panel to discuss ‘What does good look like?’ being chaired by a senior, male BAME colleague. At the time, I didn’t realise the profile of the event and was just chuffed to have been asked.

I believe the Universe sends us messages (coincidences or synchronicity), subtly to start with, and then more blatantly when you don’t see them and/or ignore them. Over the last few months I’ve had a few hints but have only just put them together when things became really obvious (metaphorical sledge hammer moment). A bit like seeing a statue of a flamingo on a street corner randomly, and then suddenly becoming aware of there being flamingos everywhere – on cards, clothes, garden ornaments, wrapping paper, literally everywhere! Only, the flamingos have a message, you just need to work out what it is; there’s a reason behind it and if you ask the question, an answer you shall receive.

Coincidence no. 1 – my good friend, surrogate Grandmother to my children and spiritual mentor, held a book launch and asked me to facilitate the event. I remember thinking, OK, that’s a huge honour on so many levels. We chatted about the brief and she said how she knew I’d do a good job. I know I teach which involves standing in front of people and I have done presentations and quite enjoy them, but public speaking and standing in front of a crowd is always nerve racking. I have self-doubt. This might surprise you as an OU Ambassador I am plastered all over the OU (huge posters) and have an Open Diary and Channel 4/Channel 5 adverts – putting myself in front of a camera is different to facilitating learning. The book launch was amazing for many reasons and looking back, it was a rehearsal of what was to come.

Coincidence no. 2 – A couple of weeks ago I’d gone for lunch with two good friends, both of whom were on the Teacher Training team when I did my first teaching qualification (C&G 7307) nearly 18 years ago. I mentioned how I’d been looking for a quote or poem to read for the event. I liked the idea of ending on something poignant and relevant. Lyn said, ‘hold on, I’ve got just the thing’ and started digging in her handbag and out she pulled an envelope which she’d scribbled notes, reminders and, a quote from Martin Luther-King: ‘Cowardice asks the question..’ but even more significant was that my name was written on the envelope alongside it. This was meant for me, I hadn’t asked her in advance or even mentioned that I was doing a BME event, it had just come up in conversation.

Consequence no. 3 - I always catch the train to MK, I rarely drive, I like being able to sit and read, let the train take the strain and all that. Tuesday just gone, I decided to drive up for several reasons (none of them important enough to list here). On my drive up I was listening to Radio 4 when a programme came on ‘Black blood donor crisis’. It reported on the BAME community and the reluctance to donate which is causing a critical shortage. Part of the research focused on the narratives and stories around why the community doesn’t participate. It was fascinating to hear how some of the narratives were about culture, history, beliefs and myths rather than medical or health issues. As the BME event was the next day, I remember thinking ah, that’s a coincidence, especially as I am particularly interested in storytelling and narratives as well.

Coincidence no.4- (This is more synchronicity than coincidence really but needs to be on the list!) As part of the Aurora leadership development programme you are assigned a mentor. After chatting to mine she thought it would be a good idea to get in touch with the Talent and Development team (T&D) at the OU to explore potential opportunities for the future. About the same time one of the Chairs from the BME steering group had sent an email around about a pilot project that was taking place in the Unit he works in. I’d contacted him with some comments and voiced an interest in being involved in some parts of it, if the chance came up and they needed someone. At the time, I didn’t realise this project was being sponsored by T&D. By the time I'd chatted to the Head of T&D, I'd already made contact with the Network and started to put the pieces together. When the Head suggested connecting with this project and the focus group, I responded that I was doing this already

OK, back to the event again, 35 minutes before it was due to start, I popped my head in to check the layout and say hi only to be met with a panicked look of the organiser who said the panel Chair was ill and wouldn't be coming - she asked me to step in! I’d prepared my answers as a panel member, but now would be facilitating the panel discussion. OMG! What I’ve failed to mention is that the panel members included the Deputy Vice Chancellor, University Secretary, an Executive Dean, and Head of Learner and Discovery Services and the audience was a mix of Academic and Professional Services, included the Pro Vice Chancellor for Students and the Director of the Unit my team has just moved to (not to mention my own line manager)! No pressure then. I was nervous and literally had 10 minutes to research and prepare some questions for the panel - My dress rehearsal from earlier in the year was a great grounding for it. I also used a NLP technique, visualising myself in a circle and speaking at the book launch. I saw myself there, brought all the positive feelings, emotions and feedback into the present and held them in my circle with me and took them onto the stage. My internal dialogue reminding me that I can do this, I can do this well, I’ve done it before, and it was good! Also, whilst listening to the guest speaker, I kept thinking, I can totally relate to him and, a lot of what he’s saying, I say. This is something I know about, not because I’ve read about it or researched it but because I have lived it. Which links nicely to coincidence no.5.

Coincidence 5 – Driving back after the event, on a high because it had gone so well and I had enjoyed it, I was listening to Front Row on Radio 4 (see a theme here) when the Bend it like Beckham Director, Gurinder Chadha came on to talk about her new movie ‘Blinded by the Light’. She talked about how she was directing and writing about a ‘..landscape that I know..’. And then it hit me….My EdD question needs to be about a landscape that I know and one that I am interested in. Something like: 'What are the stories and narratives BAME students tell themselves when studying a multidisciplinary degree in a distance learning organisation'?

It might not stand, I need to research the idea and find out who else has written about this (or not) but it’s the first time I’ve come up with a question myself, one that I can relate to, it’s my landscape (of being BAME and interested in narratives).

So, have you seen any flamingos?

This blog is dedicated to the Sunday Group (you know who you are x)